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A couple committed to chastity will experience a great deal of frustration in waiting, if they repeatedly stir their passions. But, when a couple chooses to refrain from these ways of showing their love for each other – they often find it much easier to wait until marriage. Another area of caution is in fantasizing your future relationship. Some people feel they can justify sexual fantasy, because they are engaged or married.Instead, I think you need to consider limitations to your expressions of affection now. They feel that it is alright to dwell on thoughts of being together because of the nature of their committed relationship. As a married couple, sexual fantasy that centres itself on your married love with your spouse (free of any thoughts of sexual sin) can be appropriate – but the danger of indulging in this type of sexual fantasy is that it can lead one to view his or her spouse as an object for selfish pleasure! Aside from the practical aspects of not stirring passions that will ultimately frustrate your decision to remain chaste, you are avoiding the sin of lustful desire. Indulging in those thoughts and allowing them to entertain you for pleasure is a sin!Josh Harris’ books are filled with wonderful and practical ideas and many examples of other couples who struggled with the same issues you struggle with.His writings help you to see how every expression of physical intimacy seeks consummation.And by that, I mean that you must be very practical.Every act of physical intimacy stirs the deeper desire within for union in marriage.
As you identify with their struggle, I’m sure you will find the ability in yourself to live out chastity in your own relationship. Question: Dear Carmen, I am currently engaged to a wonderful, holy man! When we first started dating he really started things off in a very prayerful note.At first, I was the one struggling more with chastity but He held the reigns and helped set a good tone for the nature of our relationship.Fantasizing your future relationship is wrong – because if you are not married yet, then you are not married! I suggest you guard yourselves now to not set a pattern for sexual fantasy if that is a problem for either one of you.
Guard what you are exposing yourselves to in terms of entertainment: movies, books, magazines.
The Theology of the Body inspires men and women alike, breathing new life and beauty into our wounded notions of sexuality.